Well I guess that’s what life is. Just feeling things, but not really knowing what to feel about those things, you know?
Lately I’ve been slightly obsessed with Maria Bamford. Simply put she’s a GD genius. So next time you feel like offing yourself, put down your mom’s prescription bottle, and watch this delightful video. Then go back and watch it again.
Well at least my ex agrees with my character association from Girls. So that’s fun.
Megan Amram knows
Letter to My Future Child
The way you don’t exist is remarkable
When I have been hotwired, cobbled from
Spongy tubes specifically to birth. At least to bud
Would be preferable, shedding a child
Like petals drooping from a center.
I apologize profusely to you,
But I am content in my selfishness and
My love of this girl I’ve created.
Today I watched the bees graze,
The perfect mix of threat and song and binge,
And I felt I, too, could bob and maneuver.
I guess they reminded me of you:
Your toddling bumble, your absent suckle,
Your mere addition to the swarm.
You would be a plump grub in honeysuckle
Were you to be anything, but you will not
Be. This is something I’ve decided.
There is only so much life to go around; I’ll take
Two rations. The petal and the pistil.
And, hey, the calyx. The ability to share is mythic,
Like you, and who needs another creature,
Another sea monster? I already have the
Swooping vertebrae of my back, I have my bones
Diving above and below my skin
Filled with just the right amount of people:
One. How could I bring a child into this world
When I want it all to myself?
Life is that right and full of love, flowers, et al.
I’m sorry for me, sure. But most of all, Little Bee,
I am sorry for you.
(Source: The Awl)
I was extremely close from taking my twitter off of private, but then I remembered I say shit like this and my mom already hates me.
Listen. I know you guys have just been the loneliest and the saddest and the withdrawliest (yes, that) without my posts this last month. For that I have a simple explanation. This is the type of shit I am subjected to on a daily basis. It’ll kill your sense of humor dead.
Totally killed my formerly adorable plant. God damn shit god damn.
GOOD IDEA: Going to a Sundance movie because you fucking live in Utah you fuck.
BAD IDEA: Inviting your best friend’s very Mormon mom and very Mormon sister along to what is clearly not a family friendly film. People who don’t appreciate blow-job humor or the fuck word are alien to me. Wait… Wait. No they’re not. THEY’RE EVERYWHERE AND I CAN’T ESCAPE!
Imma go to Park City now to drink some Snake Juice and pretend to be cool.
I also stood on top, AND in front of a big famous building.
I’m still jizzing all over the place because of this. Hands down the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.
